A post on my Facebook feed this morning said – I never knew how strong I was, until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and accept an apology I never received.
I stared at this for a long time. It just struck me to be so true, so relevant and not so commonplace. The post was specifically for working women, but I thought it could make sense for everyone – working or not working, and regardless of gender.
All self help books, spiritual blogs, motivational stories talk about forgiving, moving on, forgetting, letting go of the negativity. Few talk of the courage it requires to do so, especially when the forgiveness is not preceded by any form of apology or the slightest show of regret from the opposite entity. Surely it takes someone very brave to decide that the only reaction they would possibly oblige a negative person with is forgiveness. It would be so much easier to retort or ignore with a cold silence. But to actually reach within yourself, heal the wound with some kind of reasoning, then reach out to the other person without a trace of the hurt, and with the intention of always wishing well for them – it takes a big, generous, gutsy heart. Most people who are able to do this don’t think of themselves as saints. The ones who go on about how benevolent they’ve been to the cruelty of others, and how charitably they have forgiven, with a martyr like air about them, are probably still seething inside and haven’t yet got an opportunity to plot their revenge 😉
I have some people in my life who have been this brave and gallant. I might never be able to do the same, but I am lucky to have them.