Eat, pray, love

I fast on Mondays. That is, I skip breakfast and lunch – I have my first sip of tea after sunset, after which I thank God even for the lousy snack they offer at office in the evenings because I feel so grateful for it. This blog is not about why I fast and whether I believe in fasting spiritually or otherwise. I am writing this merely because I want to share my fasting experience per say. It is about 4-5 weeks now since I started this and it does get better with each week. By better I mean it is getting slightly easier for me to go through the entire day with only water intake as each week passes.

But I still crave. It starts with a craving for food in the morning – a slice of bread, a bite of a hot parantha. I brush the thoughts away. By lunchtime, all I crave for is a cup of tea or coffee. By tea time, a dull throbbing builds itself in my forehead and my tummy starts grumbling. It becomes difficult for me to concentrate on work so I walk around a bit, chitchat with friends and try to divert my mind. It works – for a while. By 5pm, I feel the existence of each muscle in my body. As I walk I feel a low pit in my abdomen and my heart starts pounding. I get highly restless but I keep fighting the feeling and avoid thinking about it. By 7pm I start relaxing a bit as I know that the evening tea is just 30 min away. By 7 20, I almost stop bothering – I almost feel like it won’t make much of a difference if I skip dinner too.

But when I go to the dining room of my office with my friends, pour a cup of tea, take a snack from the sweet bhaiya who always serves it to us with a smile, I feel overwhelmed. The relief I get with the first sip of tea is so immense I feel tears prickling my eyes. I bow my head and thank the heavens – feeling eternally grateful for every drop of tea and every morsel of food that I get each day.

I come home and light the diyas in the little mandir of my home. I sit there for a while chanting the shlokas – almost mechanically, yet feeling the peace around me. As the shlokas come out of my lips, always the same tunes at the fast pace, I become the kid who sat on the floor with mummy and babu, sincerely singing the hymns along with them. I cannot muster that sincerity anymore no matter how hard I try. My mind wanders here and there now… and I bring it back each time. I have a soft voice that used to get buried in my mum’s chants. Even today, I hear my mother’s voice in my head as I pray. I think that is what brings me the peace.

With all the load lifted off my shoulders, I have dinner with my hubby. With a light heart and a heavy stomach, I end the day by watching some old sitcom or reading a book or playing candy crush. I eat, pray and love – that is how I spend my Mondays 🙂

My first post!

I have been putting this off since yesterday… I wanted my first post on my brand new eighties template based blog to be striking! So I thought and thought… and thought some more..  but ‘striking’ only brought images of kohl lined eyes, Chinese lamps and Arnab Goswami’s newshour. None of this inspired me enough to write. I only kept thinking of so much more that I could include in the ‘about me’ section of my profile and how 1200 characters was just way too less to accommodate stuff about moi.

Hence this is a not so striking post, just some family news to start off.

We are expecting a little baby in the family soon 🙂 My brother is going to become a dad! I am the one younger to him, but I always picture him as the kid who asked me to convince our mum to let him play cricket or fly kites or go for a party.  This is true, he really did. And boy, is his kid going to give him back or what!

I look quite a bit like my dad’s sister so I assume my brother’s kid would be like me. But even if it isn’t, that’s OK.

I’d like to click pics of the baby, and snuggle next to it. I’d like to hug the baby and touch its cheeks… yes I’d like that very much.

The first baby in the house after me… I think I love it already. We are waiting for you sweetheart, you will bring the sunshine to the family… my little sunflower. I love you.